Inspired by Dr. Seuss

I do not like reality
speaking of the hype, you see.
I do not watch those kinds of shows,
I do not like them, now you know.

I do not watch on MTV,
I do not watch on NBC...
No singing idols, or people Lost,
I will not watch at any cost.

I do not watch Survivor man,
I will not watch although I can.
I'm not impressed, not entertained
Those stupid shows just numb my brain.

I do not care who sings the best,
I don't care which ones pass the test.
If this is their reality,
Then I want them to let me be.

Eat your eyeballs, slurp your worms,
Ingest those disgusting germs.
Be a fool for all to see,
Bow and worship your TV.

So sell your false reality,
That type of stuff is just not me.
I do not watch those kinds of shows,
They are beneath me, now you know.

Frozen Toes, Optional

As per usual, the transformation from winter to spring has be some what halting and just down-right annoying here in LA. (lower Arkansas) This makes planning one's clothing for the workweek a complete and total waste of time. 80 degrees in January, now 40 degrees the end of March. What up?

The daffodils and narcissus have already bloomed and died, and now the jasmine is in full bloom which normally is the signal that spring has sprung. I think, however, that spring turned around and crawled back into bed. I can appreciate the luxury of sleeping in from time to time, but dag! I'm ready to go fishing, and wear strappy sandals...instead, I'm sitting inside an office, heater kicking, toes frozen in spite of my boots. Does anyone know what the groundhog muttered when he emerged?

I need to buy a sunbed.

Back to My Roots...Literally

I have had a really varied list of occupations over the years...accounts receivable clerk (my first job), food service, advertising designer, retail store management, radio/D.J....But the most unusual job I've ever had was last week. Many of you know that my significant other is a farmer, and last Thursday, he put me on a tractor. The country girl has really gone country now....and you know what? I loooooved it.

I have been trying to get a job since before Thanksgiving last year, gahhhhh. Nothing ever panned out, and I just couldn't figure out whyl. I just kept praying, "Lord, you know what is best for me, so if I don't get this job, I know it wasn't right for me." So, to my great delight, Boo took me to work with him, and promptly sat me atop a Case MX240. Now, if you have never ridden on one of these big ole' toys, you just don't know what you are missing. It's like having Big Foot and your favorite childhood Tonka toy all rolled up into one.

I spent many, many hours with Boo last year, riding with him in his tractor. He explained the whole process to me, including discing, spraying, planting and harvesting. I was totally fascinated by it all, and soaked up all the info he passed on to me. This is no haphazard operation...when you farm thousands of acres, you have to be consistent and do things a certain way, or you will lose money by burning too much diesel or time. So for him to put me one a tractor? Well, I considered it an honor. I was especially nervous because his dad would be there, too...and the thought of tearing up a piece of equipment? Let's just not speak of that.

Our job was to break the fields for the first and second time with a disc...then harrow or 'scratch' the field to smooth it and break up the dirt clods. So that's what we did. On Friday, just the two of us covered about 250 acres, and I have never enjoyed a job more. Being outside in the sun, rolling over acres and acres of land that I have grown up watching my whole life was a thrill. It was absolutely beautiful...the winter wheat was glorious green, waving in the slight breeze while birds and butterflies drifted along, soaking up the early spring warmth. I don't think I have ever breathed more deeply the fresh air, scented with the fragrance of the blooming jasmine in abundance throughout the piney woods.

I come from a family of gardeners (on a smaller scale), so it's no wonder I felt like I had done this forever. The smell of the freshly broken earth, the grit of the discs as they slice through the dirt, the constant groaning of the tractor...it was as though I had plugged into some conduit of familiarity that I didn't know existed, something from deep within my genes rang true. In my mind, I could see both my grandfathers on their respective tractors, breaking ground in very early spring, tending the ground with care so that they could produce abundance for their family during the coming season. I recall hearing my father talk about my great-grandfather Pa Rice plowing with his mule, Ole Jim, toiling manually in the hot summer sun. I remember how my mother loved to grow things...flowers, tomatoes, greens and onions. It's in my blood, and I cannot deny it...don't want to, in fact.

I have wondered about big farming my whole life, but now I know. It's hard, messy, inconvenient, dangerous and sometimes thankless work. It isn't a job, it is your LIFE. I have come to have an immense amount of respect and admiration for America's farmers. But sadly, many farmers across our state and this nation are having to give up their livihood, sometimes passed down from generations, because this country and it's government have let fuel and fertilizer prices grow to astronomical levels. More farmers were forced out of business this past year than since the great depression. This slow genocide of the farming industry has forced hundreds of families to give up the only way of life they have ever known...they are being forced to sell the lives they have worked so hard to make for pennies on the dollar. The very backbone of our country is slowly being forced out of existance, and we will all pay the price one day.

So the next time you are driving a country road and see a farmer working his fingers to the bone, give him a wave and a smile. He can use the encouragement...and he deserves the acknowledgement. My hats off to all the producers across these great United States.

I'm Sprung

Hello, strangers...

Today is the first day of spring, but it seems more like the-first-day-of-the-rain-that-has-no-sign-of-ending. The heat has been turned on out of necessity, and it feels good people.

In town this week watching my friend's print shop while she and fam are on spring break. It was so weird to actually get up and get ready for work this morning. What a bunch of aggravation, sheesh. Since November 17, 2005, I had forgotten the immense amount of prep work and spackling necessary to make myself presentable in public. I recently got all the dead frizzies cut off my hair, so I don't have to schedule a three round match with it just to get it to lie down, thus saving time. Thankfully, my friend runs a casual type business atmosphere, so jeans are allowed...hurrah!

I wouldn't say I have become lazy since quitting my job, but my needing to be in-the-know and my trying to be 3 places simultaneously no longer seems very important. I was so busy, at one time, that I had seriously considered offering my body to science to be the first ever human clone experiment. I had also considered looking more closely into time travel, but that cost too much. So I just quit my job instead. The demands of the job had been outweighing the benefits for quite some time, and I knew that there was no hope for improvement unless the job fairies finally walked off the picket line and decided to give me some well-deserved assistance. Again, no dice. Remember...if you believe in fairies, they believe in you.

So...I thought to gain perspective on my status, I have decided to make a list of things that I have been able to do since having become unemployed. Note: items marked with an asterisk have never before been done by me.

THINGS I HAVE DONE SINCE BECOMING UNEMPLOYED

1. Sleep like the dead...I mean sound sleep, y'all. *
2. Look for another job, fervently, to no avail.
3. Stop feeling guilty for having quit my job. *
4. Drink coffee with my dad...every day if I want.
5. Ride my motorcycle in the middle of the day.
6. Realize I don't need a tv or a phone, telemarketers be damned.*
7. Focus on my dreams in a real way...not just daydream.*
8. Have the ability to do spur-of-the-moment things with my family and friends.*
9. Shop at my favorite stores anytime...Kroger and the Dollar Store, oh yeah.
10. Go pond hopping with my sister.

I have realized that my contentment doesn't lie in toiling for someone else's dreams. These simple things listed above are prime examples of what really does make me smile. I smile alot more now, too. I saw a couple of friends the other day, and they both said I looked more relaxed than they had ever seen me. Really? It's true...I am. And no antidepressants were needed, this time. Princess Cymbalta, move over.