Lowdown on The Ill Nah-nah.

I was really hoping to break a world record during my pregnancy by being the second woman EVER to survive nine whole months of hormonal surges by never throwing up even once. My mom still holds the all-time title...she went through it four times and never felt better in her life. Sorry, mom. I caved under extreme viral pressure.

I blew (no pun) my chances this past Friday. No, it was not morning sickness. It was more like early-afternoon-stomach-flu-relief-by-spewing sickness. Which, by the way, was precluded by 386 trips to the pot starting at 3 a.m. the previous morning. I know all this sharing is making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Just make dang sure that feeling isn't mistaken for the bubble guts, because that will warrant a trip to the Dollar Store for more Angel Soft double rolls.

I know, I know....EVERYONE but everyone has already had the stomach flu this year. So what's the problem? I thought I would be totally immune because I use gallons of hand sanitizer and Lysol spray on a daily basis. Yet, somehow, the microscopic assassins made it through my defenses and laid waste to my digestive tract. How, you are wondering? Check this out...

http://biology.about.com/library/weekly/aa022400a.htm

and this...

http://biology.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://news.uns.purdue.edu/UNS/html4ever/000211.Almanza.sanitizers.html

Oh shock and horror! You mean this stuff could actually increase my chances of becoming sick???? It is terrorist propaganda, I say!

I'm still gonna use the stuff though. One, because it makes me feel better; two, because it smells good, and; three, I don't think Pinesol shooters and a Haz-Mat suit would be a good option for me at this point.

1st Annual Cousin's Retreat

It finally happened. No, we did not find Osama Bin Laden. We held the first EVER Rice girl-cousin's retreat!

And, yes. We had more fun and ate more cheese than it is legal to admit. Thanks to Steph's prodding us all with a hot poker, we finally succumbed to the pressure and decided it was worth listening to all the whining that would follow when we broke away from our male counterparts (and kids) for more than five whole minutes. We were very sad that Michelle, Misty and Bridget couldn't join us, but we will just be sure that EVERYONE receives an invite next time, m'kay? Yes, Misty, I'm talking to you girl. Attendees included left to right: Stephanie, me, Melanie, Janet, Tammy and Chris.


I hosted the first ever event at Chillville, which was perfect considering I have no home phone, and the cell signal is dodgy at best. This meant that if you wanted to talk to anyone, you would have to stand at the back door and bob your head around like a chicken, or go outside on the back porch and freeze to death. Neither was a good option, so we just checked messages from time to time. It was the next best thing to being dropped off on a desert island, but with better food.

Being with child, and being clueless, I used this time to glean all the knowledge I could from the veteran mothers in my midst. I got tons of great information, including home video footage of an actual birth, and lots of examples of the hell your children will put you through once they reach the age that they can finally walk. I know birth and motherhood aren't all bad, but just don't ever let your kids wear your boots while dancing around in their underwear. It will make you pee in your pants, people.

I had no idea that so many women with so much gear could fit into such a confined space. But we did, and no one got stepped on or elbowed, a least not on purpose. We actually attempted to have a Liverpool Rummy tournament, but we only lasted two hands. We couldn't stop talking and eating long enough to play...are you surprised?

From left to right, me, Steph, Face and Tammy. Of course, we had to switch out camera operators and take another shot so everyone could represent...

Left to right, beached whale, sleepy Steph, Janet and Chris. Where is Melanie, you ask? She's trying to hook up a VHS player to a DVD recorder so she can convert our old family movies. After she almost pulled out all of he hair, I offered to try and help her...

No, that swath of green isn't Ireland, it's my right butt cheek. Alas, I wasn't much help and she eventually figured out. She also took some great family photos of Chris, Aaron and Brynn, plus some of me and my pregnant belly. I will post these later. Mel is a fabulous photographer. Check out her work here: http://leaveallworries.blogspot.com/ She is also a fabulous dancer and karaoke singer, especially when she has had too much vodka and cranberry juice. Rope the calf, Mel...rope the calf.

Speaking of roping the calf, here's the original roper herself with her precious little one, AnnaClaire. Janet, don't you dare teach that baby that dance. Nanie would flip a grid...

Thank you, ladies for your love, advice and fantastic dip recipes. And thanks to Chris for sharing these photos, hope you don't mind that I used them. The time just went by too, too fast, didn't it? And for the love of all things holy, please let's not forget to invite Mrs. Jim Meziere next time. Otherwise, there will be no divinity next Christmas.

A ray of hope

I want to thank all of you for your support over these past few tumultuous weeks. Your advice and support means more to me than you could imagine.

As many of you have experienced yourself, disappointment and anger can take a lot of energy to sustain, and I have grown tired of it. I received two heartfelt letters from my ex, and agreed to talk to him for the first time in almost a month and a half.

Let it suffice to say that God does hear and answer prayer. And in the midst of some of the most horrible times, wonderful, life-changing things can and do happen when you least expect them to. I want to assure you all that I am not being foolish, but am following the prompting of my heart, and talking to him was the best thing I could have ever done. I found out that not all the things that I heard were true, and I know in my heart that he has nothing left to hide.

Please pray for us as we continue to talk and try to resolve the issues that are set before us. It will not be easy, and it's going to take a lot of time. But with God's help, we can make a new start and have a chance to be the family that we've always wanted to be.

I love y'all.

A-shopping we did go

This past weekend, I had my first ever baby shopping adventure. I say shopping, but a more accurate description would be baby looking...I registered at my first retail outlet and got to pick from ka-jillions of products that I didn't even know existed.

I have never beheld so many gadgets, thingies, what's-its and gizmos in my life. And this was all at just one location! Talk about an overwhelming influx of information, it was baby gadget sensory overload. Who knew that so many props were required for the rearing of one little bitty human being? How in the hell did we learn anything much less survive baby-hood before all these necessities came to be?

When I was a kid, 'accessories' included a stack of cloth diapers with pins (I still have my pins), rubber pants, and hand-me-downs from your older brothers and sisters. 'Toys' included mom's pots and pans, a paste-board box aka. playhouse with a hole cut in it for a 'door', and a set of wooden blocks painted bright colors hand-made by my grandfather. My, my, how times have changed.

Now, one must have binky's, onesies, monitors, sleeping wedges, bumpers, wipies, wipie warmers, mobiles, electric boob pumps, walkers, strollers, bouncers, exer-saucers, play mats, bath stations, travel systems, play yards, and this:

It's a Baby Einstein play station, and it's, ummm, awfully cute. Excuse me, but is it really necessary for a newborn to learn the theory of relativity? If any of my siblings or myself had been given this as a child, we would have shredded it within one day. I suppose we were a bit more rugged back then. Don't get too judgemental on me now. And, no. I did NOT add this to my registry.

However, I did find some very attractive and very practical things that I might actually use for more than five whole minutes after the baby is born.Things like this:

And I especially loved this because it looks sturdy enough for me to waddle behind with the bambino in tow, and get my own behind back into shape:

Aunt Na and I are both under the assumed delusion that I will give birth to a little boy. No, we do not have a clue why, and no, we have done no voodoo-witchcraft-old-wives-tales experiments....yet. Although I may have to break out the pencil, needle and thread and do 'the test'. Have any of you ever heard of 'the test'? It's been pretty accurate on the folks I've seen use it.

If you want to see more, look me up by name at www.target.com

What You Are

And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave

Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are

And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you'll find another slave

Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are

Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more

Cause now I'm free from what you want

Now I'm free from what you need

Now I'm free from what you are

--as performed by Chris Cornell and Audioslave