Man, oh man...
We girls have to stick together cause the man game ain't gettin' no easier to play. Lately, some of my friends have been struggling in their personal relationships. So, I dug thru the stuff my girlfriends sent me when I was having a hard time with man troubles. We've all been there at one time or another, so here is some advice passed to me from girlfriends who have 'been there-done that'. This is not a man-basher...it is simply a statement of facts regarding the male psychi, and affirmation of the female spirit. I have italicized the ones that I think just tell it like it is. If it's bold and italic, I'VE LIVED IT. Whether you agree or disagree with some/all of these statements, this is good stuff.
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit, or sixth sense) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5. Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12 . Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14 . Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man.
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23. All men are NOT dogs. (sorry...this is arguable, IMHO)
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
29. Never co-sign for a man.
30. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need, HE WILL NOT CHANGE.
Hope this list is helpful, if not educational. I'm enjoying smooth sailing right now, but at any moment, anyone's relationship could run off in the ditch. Doesn't hurt to remind one's self of the facts concerning the male species. After all, it IS a man's world.....right ladies???
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit, or sixth sense) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
5. Slower is better.
6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
8. Don't settle.
9. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
10. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
11. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
12 . Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
13. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
14 . Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
16. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.
17. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
19. Never let a man define who you are.
20. Never borrow someone else's man.
21. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
23. All men are NOT dogs. (sorry...this is arguable, IMHO)
24. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
25. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
26. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
27. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
28. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted.
29. Never co-sign for a man.
30. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need, HE WILL NOT CHANGE.
Hope this list is helpful, if not educational. I'm enjoying smooth sailing right now, but at any moment, anyone's relationship could run off in the ditch. Doesn't hurt to remind one's self of the facts concerning the male species. After all, it IS a man's world.....right ladies???
posted by Reality Chick at 1:25 PM
7 Comments:
I love it! My favorite one is "If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you." That is so true.
I've never had this problem, but I cracked up when I re-read this one...'never co-sign' LOL
Too bad I didn't get this much sooner in life, I might have avoided such bullcrap. *sigh*
These are definetly pearls of wisdom!! Especially #16--if you don't like how he is to begin with, then he is not for you because you are NOT gonna change him! If anything, he will change you for the worse.
Also, NEVER bail him out of jail!! Seen it too many times where the bondsman comes back on the girl when the guy skips his courtdate! Should be a no-brainer, but sometimes we chicks can let a pretty face drag us down!!
All of this is so true but it is true both ways as well. These rules apply to both men and women.
#1, #6, #26...very true. And yes, Chris, I think most of it goes both ways, which can create more problems in a relationship. Then, you have the whole push/pull thing goin on!!!! FRUSTRATING...
"quasi-god." that's great. i think i've been guilty of that.
Initially I was inclined to leave an incredibly amusing comment. Only there is a lot of truth here for both men and women.
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