After each post, I keep forgetting about certain artists...Pink Floyd this time. I'm sure I'll remember others, but on with the story.
I stayed with my sister after my divorce, which was a blessing. We listened to music, ALOT, and I drank, ALOT...I was miserable. I thought my life was over, but actually it was just beginning. You have to understand...my WHOLE LIFE, up until I was about 30, was spent trying to please other people. I don't know why I became this way...my parents certainly didn't make me that way.But during my marriage, I was lulled into a sort of trance that told me, "Don't rock the boat, do exactly what he says, you don't NEED to have your own identity." Ooooo...that was my first big mistake, listening to that subliminal voice. I should have followed my heart instead, but I aquiesced, and tried to be a good little "suzie homemaker". But no matter what I did, it was never enough. I am not one to brag, but I was a good, faithful wife. I worked a full-time job, kept the house immaculate, cook like a gourmet, kept myself looking attractive, hell...I thought I had it all figured out.
Then one night, I woke up from a dead sleep...it was like someone had shaken me awake, then disappeared. I opened my eyes and looked over at my husband beside me. I went cold, and a feeling came over me that totally unnerved me. Who was the man lying in the bed next to me? It was like he was a complete stranger...I was horrified, and felt completely alone. It looked like him, but it's like I really didn't KNOW HIM. And that sums up my marriage completely.

The Blues, continued...

In the late 80's and early 90's, I was heard a good bit of top 40, which included more and more R & B and hip hop. I always loved hip-hop, so naturally I love rap, too. Some of the best are Prince and the Revolution (before he became a symbol), George Clinton and P Funk, The Dazz Bank, Cameo, The Gap Band, Ready for the World, Morris Day and the Time...also, early LL Cool J, Too Short, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, Big Daddy Kane (love that hat), Kidd N' Play (love that hair), plus Salt and Peppa, Madonna, and many more. Kinda eclectic, I know. Nonetheless, this is the music I remember. And lest I digress, AC/DC was a major, MAJOR influence via my younger brother in the hard rock genre. The first time I heard the album "Back in Black", it was like I had arrived at Vatican City. Shazam, I was never the same.

In the late 90's my life changed...went through a divorce, and what I call the beginning of my 'blue period'. Up until this time, I was listening to quite a bit of alternative, punk and hard rock including groups like Soundgarden (Chris Cornell, maybe the best rock vocalist ever IMO), Pearl Jam, Screaming Trees, Extreme, Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, and another elusive and relatively unknown collaberation between members of Soungarden and Pearl Jam, an album titled "Temple of the Dog", featuring vocalists Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder.

All the while, I am spending more and more time with my close family, including my dad and older brother. They get together regularly to "jam" and play guitars, mostly blues and classic rock. I began to really listen to the lyrics in the songs for the first time, and then the music just overwhelmed me. It's like you hear people say...the blues is a STATE OF BEING. It's not a mood, or a passing fad, or some spiritual revelation. It's four bars on a gibson, lyrics, and a broken down, barren heart. Once you get the blues, it never leaves. It varies in degrees, but never disappears entirely. I couldn't really know the blues and appreciate it until I fell upon hard times. Now, I can't remember who I was before I got the blues. In my next entry, I will share with you how the blues became a part of me. I will also tell you about my favorite artists, and their influence in my life and musical tastes. Untilk then, peace and much love...

The Blues

Ain't Gone 'N' give Up On Love
--by Stevie Ray Vaughan
I ain't gone 'n' give up on love
Love won't give up on me
I ain't gone 'n' give up on love
Love ain't gone 'n' give up on me
Every tear that I've cried
Only washed away the fear inside
Now I, I ain't gone 'n' give up on love
Every beat of my heart
Pounds with joy and not with pain
Every beat of my heart
Pounds with joy and not in vain
And although those are painful memories
Only brought me to my knees
I was just given up on love
Little Johnny Taylor told us so long ago
What about the midnight cryin'
Wo that cheatin' and lyin'
What about the price that will
Oh surely be paid
Those that gave up on love
Love will have it's dayI ain't givin' up on love
I ain't gone 'n' give up on love
Love won't give up on me
I ain't gone 'n' give up on love
Love won't give up on me
Every time I cry
Love just won't let me be
Won't set me free

This song, probably more than any other, made me truly love the blues. Being a child of the 80's, and having three older siblings, gave me a vast musical pallette. As far back as I can recall (maybe I was five years old), I have memories of music in my home. Either it was my mother making her old, green upright piano sing... or the sweet sound of my father strumming his Gibson flat top. Sometimes the music came from my younger brother.

His musical tastes greatly influenced mine because he spent so much time with me. Six years his junior, I was the proverbial kid sister...but he didn't seem to mind. I rolled happily for miles with my brother in his Olds Cutlass 442, all the while getting a crash course in what would one day be known as heavy, classic, punk, metal and just plain ole' rock and roll. My fave of all time? The Canadian power trio Rush, without a doubt. Others include Jimi Hendrix, Led Zepplin, Ted Nugent, Peter Frampton, Cream (and Eric Clapton), Foghat, Bad Company, Scorpions, Aerosmith, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult...and the elusive yet beloved and rare Frank Marino and Mahogany Rush Live. The latest technology involved the humble eight-track player and tape, and anyone who ever owned one knows that familiar clicking sound. We were beside ourselves when the cassette became popular! We could conveniently rewind the tape and hear our favorite song over and over without having to play all the way through, what a convenience, ha.

I spent a lot of time with my sister as well. She married when I was just five years old. I missed her terribly, and would stay the night with her every chance I got. There I heard Chicago, Marshall Tucker Band, Allman Brothers, Molly Hatchett, ZZ Top, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Doobie Brothers, Black Oak Arkansas, and later Boston (Brad Delp, awesome vocalist), Foreigner (Lou Gramm, one of the best all-time rock vocalists, period), Journey (Steve Perry, one of the best all-time rock vocalists, period), Whitesnake. That isn't nearly all, but I must post and go for now. I will continue my story of the blues later. Peace and Love always...