The Blue Period.

Recently, I looked back at some of my first entries on this website. And to my chagrin, most of the stuff I wrote was just so....well, serious. I suppose I was going through some sort of reflective/depressed period in which writing down my thoughts for all the world to see would somehow help me muddle through whatever crisis I was enduring at that time. So, I guess all my shameless spewing must have served some purpose, didn't it? Let's call it self-therapy...and please don't think I'm discounting all the wonderful words of support from friends. You helped me more than you know.

No doubt, I went through some rough stuff, i.e. the loss of my mother, several failed relationhips, blah-blah-blah. But, gahhh! I was such a wallower. Maybe I'm being too critical of myself, but I'm just. so. bored. with negativity. It's embarrassing to realize I was so weak minded for such a long time. Thankfully, that time in my life is o-vah. One thing I've learned is that I'm responsible for my happiness, and nobody else.

All my innocence is officially gone, the illusion is shattered, the pie-in-the-sky has fallen, and is cascading down over me like a sticky, sweet shroud.

So now, I will try my dead level best to look up, move forward, chin up, and be happy. After all, I have so much to be happy about. So I will bid farewell to my blue days, and look forward to sunny days coated in yellow, orange and red...and leave the depressing stuff to someone else. I have better things to do, like get a nursery ready for my precious little somebody. Bye-bye, blue.