A mother like mine...
Today is the day...a day I won't ever forget.
It's the 3rd anniversary of the day you went away.
I remember how hot it was when we got you in the vehicle and took you to the hospital. I knew what the trip meant, but I could do nothing to stop what was happening. We were helpless, as your life took it's ultimate course. That was the biggest part of the pain for me, not having the ability to take away your illness, to heal you, to help you. I kept thinking, what else can I do to stop this?
I remember how tiny you looked, so fragile. I wanted to hold you and make it better, but I didn't have the power. All I could do was hold your hand and tell you "I'm here."
My mind kept wandering over the past, the memories of you that were the most poignant...little things about you that your child could find comfort in. The fragrance your wore, your polished nails, your little gleeful smile, the way you would stand with your hand on your hip, the way you could fall asleep on the couch in the middle of knitting then wake up and resume, never missing a beat. I remembered every detail, like the sun-drenched pages of my favorite story book. Even now, I can see you, sitting at the kitchen table, an arrangement on display with flowers you cut from your yard. You might be talking on the phone, or writing, or doing your nails, or cooking. I remember how helpless and lonely I felt, and how I longed to take your place. I remembered the time I had a high fever, and you sat all night by my bed, holding my hand till I got better.
I could never repay you for your love, nor could I fathom it's depths. And today, the love remains. The mere memory of your love is enough to sustain me, because I know that you are whole now. Perhaps you are cutting flowers from some heavenly garden, or sharing your smile with another. I want you to know I will always remember your sacrifices, and I will never forget my mother's love, ever. And if I am ever blessed with a child, I will pray that God will help me become a mother like mine.
Thank you, momma. I miss you so much.
It's the 3rd anniversary of the day you went away.
I remember how hot it was when we got you in the vehicle and took you to the hospital. I knew what the trip meant, but I could do nothing to stop what was happening. We were helpless, as your life took it's ultimate course. That was the biggest part of the pain for me, not having the ability to take away your illness, to heal you, to help you. I kept thinking, what else can I do to stop this?
I remember how tiny you looked, so fragile. I wanted to hold you and make it better, but I didn't have the power. All I could do was hold your hand and tell you "I'm here."
My mind kept wandering over the past, the memories of you that were the most poignant...little things about you that your child could find comfort in. The fragrance your wore, your polished nails, your little gleeful smile, the way you would stand with your hand on your hip, the way you could fall asleep on the couch in the middle of knitting then wake up and resume, never missing a beat. I remembered every detail, like the sun-drenched pages of my favorite story book. Even now, I can see you, sitting at the kitchen table, an arrangement on display with flowers you cut from your yard. You might be talking on the phone, or writing, or doing your nails, or cooking. I remember how helpless and lonely I felt, and how I longed to take your place. I remembered the time I had a high fever, and you sat all night by my bed, holding my hand till I got better.
I could never repay you for your love, nor could I fathom it's depths. And today, the love remains. The mere memory of your love is enough to sustain me, because I know that you are whole now. Perhaps you are cutting flowers from some heavenly garden, or sharing your smile with another. I want you to know I will always remember your sacrifices, and I will never forget my mother's love, ever. And if I am ever blessed with a child, I will pray that God will help me become a mother like mine.
Thank you, momma. I miss you so much.
posted by Reality Chick at 7:55 AM
7 Comments:
wow. great post.
Oh man, that brought tears to my eyes. Love you, girl.
I pray I'm remembered by my kids the same way your mother is remembered by you. So sweet...
I love you and I miss Granny so much. She was so, so very special to me. I can't imagine losing my mother.
I think about Granny every day and I have nothing but good memories of her. I know she is spreading her love in Heaven.
Even the last time I saw her alive, she said in her sweet voice..."I love you too my darlin." She also had her hand on her hip, I will never forget it. She feels no pain now. I love you Granny. ;)
Very sweet post, Polly. Yes, your mother was a very special person to all people that knew her. She was always smiling and now she smiles from Heaven.
i have tears. your descriptions were beautiful.
And they live on through our memories...
Much love to you on a hard day...
Post a Comment
<< Home