Happy Holidays, Crappy Holidays

Don't think I'm a Scrooge...but the older I get, the holidays become more of a remembrance than a celebration. This had been an odd year for me anyway. I have had many emotional ups and downs, from meeting the person I thought was my soulmate only to find out I was wrong, to dealing with yet another year filled with regret over bad decisions. Things are better now, but as I look back over the past year, what have I accomplished?
I spent most of this year obsessing over a relationship that never actually existed. What a waste of my time and energy! After all the hard lessons I have learned about life, love, divorce, etc., I can't believe that I was still so naive. I guess I am the eteranal optimist...the glass half full girl....the one who just flat refuses to give up on love. I entrusted someone with my heart when I shouldn't have. I believed the half-truths of a selfish, superficial, scandalous male because I thought I didn't deserve any better. I envisioned myself alone, 30 years from now, and it scared me to death.
Ladies...please let me pass on some sound advice to you. If you are struggling with a bad relationship, if have NO relationship, if you have the best relationship...doesn't matter. These truths, and I emphasize TRUTHS, have been tried and tested by yours truly.
BEING ALONE IS BETTER THAN BEING WITH THE WRONG PERSON. Trust me, I know personally. I am a 35 year old woman, with no husband, no kids, no family of my own. But I'm HAPPY...because I finally know just how much I'm worth. I'm not on some feminist kick, and this isn't something I read out of some corny self help book. Until you are truly content with who YOU are, you can never have fulfilling exchange with another person... be it a boyfriend, girlfriend, family, boss.
DON'T LET ANYONE STEAL YOUR JOY. Happiness is incidental, joy is a CHOICE. My heart may be breaking this Christmas because I miss my mom, or my brother...but I still have JOY inside for the memories they have left behind for me. I may wake up tomorrow and have a terrible day, but no one will touch my joy. No man is worth losing it over, and no true friend would ever try to rob me of it. If you have friends that bring you down, shuck them off. Keep your joy guarded like the crown jewels...if you do, you'll find out how far it will go pulling your through in tough times.
NEVER QUIT PULLING. My dad, over the years, has endured a LOT of trials and heartache. And over the years, I have gone to him many, many times for advice. Without fail, he always says to me, "Baby, keep on pulling." What does he mean? Simply, don't give up. To quote Ice Cube, "life ain't a sprint, it's a marathon"...actually, it's more like a cross-country steeplechase. Your gonna get knocked down, trampled underfoot, and someone will try to wipe their boots on your back. But consider this. If you are always on the move, going forward, they won't be able to. If someone says something ugly to you, shuck it off. If you feel crunchy for whatever reason, hold your head up. My dad always says, "There ain't no one on this earth any better than me." He's not being arrogant, he's giving himself a shot of self-confidence.